Abby asked me to check in on their hamster, Julio Montoya Ricardo III, while they were on vacation. I did. This is the text conversation that followed:
Deirdre: Abby! I went right over when I got your message. Hamster is tot as a toenail. I’ll clean the cage. For what it’s worth, he looks as if he’s sleeping peacefully. 🙁
Abby: No need to clean cage. He’s fine.
Deirdre: He’s not fine! He’s dead!
Abby: Is he really dead? I thought you were joking. Oh dear.
Deirdre: No. Really dead.
Abby: No. Shit. He was fine when we left.
Deirdre: Maybe we can sell it as old age?
Abby: Perhaps. Though he was only a year old. Hmmm.
Abby: Oh well. Sorry to leave that for you.
Deirdre: I feel bad for the little guy. But he’s compost now.
Abby: Oh dear! How’s Millie (the dog). Not compost I hope.
Deirdre: Millie just had her walk to the lake and back. Should I give him a proper burial?
Abby: Proper burial? In the freezer?
Deirdre: In the ground! He’s beyond freezing.
Abby: Oh! Yes, you may do what you feel is best.
Deirdre: Leaving him in the compost feels best.
Abby: Back to nature by way of the dump.