Okay y’all, update.

So, turns out I’m a thenthitive printheth, and radiation maketh me go haywire.

My first session, though painless, left me a little nauseous. Less than 12 hours later I had my second session in Little Chernobyl, which left me with double vision, the inability to speak, the inability to walk and a complete loss of the use of the right side of my body.

If you’ve been reading this Tumblr, you know that already.

So let me catch you up to today.

First of all, you’ve been amazing. Adabel, (she’s my cousin, people! and me lurves her) has been holding down the fort (and it’s a very complicated fort) getting me to appointments, looking after my drugs, watering my thirsty plants, dealing with the food that won’t stop reproducing in the fridge, the laundry, the plates, oh my god I could go on forever! (Oh yeah, she’s even typing this.) But thank you all for the cards, and chocolate, and love, and the list goes on! It’s been nice. It’s been more than nice.

I’m not seeing double vision anymore. That’s swell. I only see one of you – not two. Not that I don’t want to see two of you, but I’m not a fly and neither are you.

I can walk unescorted, though I will take your arm if offered. Sometimes I’m kind of like Andy Kauffman, when he sang: “I can’t stop my leg” on SNL oh so many years ago. My right side, it has its own opinion.

I can’t write. Or type. Or text. Or email. But we’re setting up voice recognition software on my computer to keep the writing going. Because I can always talk (can’t kill the talker in me) and Adabel has to go back to New Mexico.  

She does have a life, people. I hear.

They’re going to forego chemo (prolly) while I do radiation, because I am tho thenthitive. But they’ve introduced steroids to keep the fun going, (up all night!) and to leave me wondering, “What fresh new hell is around the corner? Moonface? More facial hair? Lower voice? Attitude like a sailor?

And between herbs and drugs, my purse rattles like a set of maracas.

I sit and sleep a lot.

Lucy’s a bitch.

TV is now my new best friend.

And Lucy’s still a bitch.

Rose is in London. She was a hair model for Vidal Sassoon (I’ll post a photo of that as soon as she sends one to me). It’s super cute!

Jack is hosting his barbeque competition this weekend in Columbia City.

And that’s that for now.

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