Time for a quick update on my time in Candyland.
After that first round of chemo and radiation ended (late September), doctors gave me a break from this whole big colossal mess so I could recuperate before beginning Big Girl Chemo.
Or so I thought.
I envisioned a time of rest, relaxation and recuperation, with long lazy lunch dates, the occasional massage, attacking my growing stack of unread books, maybe even finishing up one of my own book projects.
I so funny.
It turns out that really my body wasn’t going to get a break – it needed time to absorb the poison and radiation it had been issued. I didn’t have any more energy … I had less, way less. I was no longer dizzy, but now I was I was completely uncoordinated from nerve damage caused by the initial treatment. Chemo fog lowered my inner barometric pressure and socked in my soul for the season (or for good?).
So when we started my Big Girl Chemo almost two weeks ago, little did I know that my rank of about 3 out of 10 on a scale of functionality would get knocked to a 1 or a .5 after this fresh new hell was introduced to my veins.
I spend most of my days in bed, or downstairs on the sofa when I’m really in an over-achieving mood. I walk Arthur around the block on most days – gone are the three-mile walks to the water and back. And I have a new dizziness where the room spins that’s scaring the be-Jesus out of me because new brain symptoms now send the fear of the Lord coursing through my veins.
So that’s the update. I do have to reiterate that I am in no pain whatsoever, and strangely, I’m not sad or depressed. In fact, I’m quite happy sleeping off most days. And I only get agitated when I have to get normal looking with makeup and wigs and function in public – but even that doesn’t really bother me because I’m rallying to see friends and loved ones.
And if I have learned just one thing from all of this, it’s that family and friends are the most valuable treasure we have during our short time on Earth.