A day in the life

KATHY (to River): I’m not gonna pick you up, you ugly little thing. … You’re a snoopy little shit. I’m gonna flush you down the toilet. (River keeps playing around Kathy’s chair, totally not listening to her.) … God, you’re so cute. … I don’t like you and you don’t like me. … I hate nasty little boys. … Get over on your side of the thing (room). … DO you know I’m gonna mash you? Well, maybe I won’t. … PEEKABOO! … Oh shit. I can’t let this fall on ya (moving a lamp). … Now he found something icky over there to eat. What are you eating? … (looking at The Cat in the Hat on TV) Do we have to watch this?

DD: Yup. 

KATHY: Why? 

D-D: Because I have to follow it. 

KATHY: Oh, you do not, you turd. … What have you got in your mouth? D-D, get up and see. (It was a cracker. Then Kathy picks up River.) Well, you weigh a lot! Come here.

RIVER: AYAYAYAYA!

KATHY: Well, you’re a bossy little thing. We could give him a beer. See if that’d settle him. … This is awful. (back to The Cat in the Hat) Is it good for kids?

D-D: Yup. 

KATHY: Oh, it is not. It’s stupid. He is taking it in. 

RIVER: AYAYAYAYA. BLAB!