I remember when I was a child and the warm scents of cold sanitizing solution and sweet chemicals would waft up to my bedroom as mother whipped up a fresh batch of chemotherapy for Sunday brunch while gazing out on misty Lake Washington, where father worked on his Chris Craft and our Golden Retriever – Lazy Daisy – chased sticks and nipped at father’s heals.

You too?

To celebrate simpler times, here’s a modern-day recipe that I cooked up today at the UW Test Kitchen. (Recipe can be modified according to your preferred flavor of candy.)


Serves: One

Prep/cook time: 7 hours

Arrive at UW at 8 a.m.;

Donate some blood to assure specimen (that’s you) is fit for a feast;

Drink brown rice tea while waiting for blood lab results;

Once approved, have nurse sink an IV into left arm and administer one six-hour IV drip of:

One liter saline

10 mg Decadron (steroids)

Dash of Zofran (anti-nausea)

130 mg Cisplatin (chemo)

Top off with one liter saline;

Have nurse remove drip and garnish with 130 mg Lomustine (second chemo) pill;

Go home for dinner.

Eat. Sleep. Watch TV. Take one more Zofran before going to bed.

Repeat once a week for four weeks. Take six weeks off before repeating. Do this for a year.

It’s almost as good as mother’s chemo. And you might not even throw up.

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