D-D: Mom, I have some news for you. It’s kinda sad. Do you want to hear it?
D-D: OK. I’ve been diagnosed with terminal brain cancer.
KATHY: (crying) Why couldn’t they take some dumbshit like me? See why I don’t believe in a god? Oh, my beautiful D-D. And here I thought you were doing so good and looked so thin.
*** two hours later ***
KATHY: My brain’s not worth a damn anymore.
D-D: It turns out mine isn’t either. We’re in a race to see whose brain gives out first.
D-D: Because you have Alzheimer’s and I have brain cancer.
KATHY: Who are you?
D-D: Your daughter.
KATHY: Oh, well then that’s terrible!