D-D: Mom, I have some news for you. It’s kinda sad. Do you want to hear it?

KATHY: Yes. 

D-D: OK. I’ve been diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. 

KATHY: (crying) Why couldn’t they take some dumbshit like me? See why I don’t believe in a god? Oh, my beautiful D-D. And here I thought you were doing so good and looked so thin.

*** two hours later ***

KATHY: My brain’s not worth a damn anymore.

D-D: It turns out mine isn’t either. We’re in a race to see whose brain gives out first.


D-D: Because you have Alzheimer’s and I have brain cancer.

KATHY: Who are you?

D-D: Your daughter.

KATHY: Oh, well then that’s terrible!

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