SURVIVAL UP NORTH
Electricity went out at home. Rose was alone. Fortunately, Mommy was there to help her weather Disaster 2013.
ROSE: We lost power!
ME: Did u look under your bed?
ME: I are not a dork!
ROSE: It’s probs gonna be out for a while, at least the rest of the day. Is there something I should do?
ME: Fill the tub with water. Get out Daddy’s gun (it’s in the closet). Board up the windows. And I guess just juice up your cell phone and stay in the storage room in the basement. Just till the electricity comes back.
ME: Kat says just buy some ice.
ROSE: Ok so nothing?
ME: Well if you won’t buy some ice, Kat says at least don’t open the freezer. And drink the champagne before it gets warm.
ROSE: With the lack of ability to drive buying ice is not super an option
ME: Hey, man, it could be the end if the world. The keys should be in the drawer by the back door. What the hell … Take the Mercedes. Drive for your life (and for your ice).
ROSE: Should I get ice?
ME: No. Screw it. Let the freezer food rot.