THE PURE POOP

Surprise Visit: Culinary Institute of America!!!! Soooo beautiful. Near the Vanderbilt Estate and Franklin Delanor Roosevelt’s manse. Definitely the best-smelling campus we visited and actually, one of the most beautiful. Fave things: The Apple Cafe (where we scored every macaroon they sold in addition to fancy salts, pecan chocolates and maple syrup) and the fact that each dorm is named after a spice.

Surprise student perk: Bard brings in puppies during finals to destress students.

Surprise Eff You: Vassar. You are just not good enough to go here. None of you are. Get off our campus you middle-class suck-up wanna-be pseudo-intellectuals with not a hope in site of ever, EVER joining our academic Volholla. Please. Just … go. 

Pictured above: Macaroons from CIA; Rose at The Apple Cafe at CIA; the water fountain at CIA; Bard’s castle-princess entrance; Bard’s scary small tomb, er, something; Bard’s big impressive church with a multi-colored roof and wedding-cake windows; Vassar’s Go-Eff-Yourself Hall of We Don’t Love You.